Shaanxi Hospitality

One story of kindness and generosity follows another. That has been my daily experience here in Shaanxi HuaiYa. The previous entry to this blog was a story of such hospitality. Another entry follows here.



9/26 to 9/28



One of my grade 2 students had been asking me all week if I would come to visit her family this weekend... to stay at her house for the weekend. All my American instincts shouted, "violation!" American teachers don't visit their students' families and sleep at their houses! But this is China. What should I do?



I hemmed-and-hawed... stalling to buy time for days to make a rational decision. My calculating mind weighed the options, but the scales were useless. This is China! Who knows what the proper thing to do is?! Somehow she found me again and again. Every time the same question.



I agreed. She made me pinky-swear to the promise!



On Friday she, I, and a classmate of hers took a taxi to her family's house. The town was nearby-maybe 15 minutes.



The taxi driver veered from the main street and turned into a small lane. Her family lived in the kind of neighborhood and house that I had read about in all those Pearl S. Buck books that had first painted my soul and wallpapered my mind with Chinese culture. Numerous households clustered together. Her house had a large, handsome gate/door that swung open as we approached... from behind stood the smiling face of her grandmother welcoming us. The household centered around a large courtyard. Receiving rooms faced the courtyard on all four sides, and the receiving rooms branched off into separate rooms. Just as I had read... just as I had imagined...



I met her cousins. Then I met her grandfather, elegantly sitting on his large 炕（KANG)--a traditional Chinese bed that is heated from below. After introductions, he invited me to sit on the KANG with him--a very great honor as I understand. Through understanding smiles and my students translations, we chatted the night away.



Now many people might think that Western countries invented the all-you-can-eat buffet. I disagree. I think this great institution is an ancient tradition of Chinese hosts. The student's grandmother brought out one plate of 饺子 (jiaozi = dumplings) after another. If I paused for even a second--to talk, to catch my breath, to chew--she would hammer, "吃！吃！吃!" (chi chi chi... eat, eat, eat, KEEP EATING!). My student told me that the guest who eats the most is the hero... so I kept eating to claim the prize... jiaozi superstar! They were so delicious!



I slept the night in one of the many bedrooms of the house. The air was chill and damp from the cold rain, but I was sandwiched warmly between a hard mattress and thick layers of bedding. As I lay there thinking, it still was just so unreal... I am sleeping in my student's house!



The next morning, we had a good breakfast. We intended to do some sightseeing, but the cold rain would demand a high price. Instead, we decided to visit my student's former middle school. In my combined travels of China, I have visited 6 schools in China. This one was by far the most high energy... it was a mob scene! Students from all over the school clung to the railings of the school balconies. As I approached, they waved and shouted. As I climbed the stairs toward the classrooms, they swarmed around me. "HELLO! HELLO! HELLO!" They clamored to shake my hand... too many hands to shake... the local English teacher turned serious and pushed them back like he was on the books as my bodyguard... their enthusiasm was overwhelming! I visited four different classrooms to introduce myself and answer questions. They all wanted my autograph... this is the exact word they used... "Can we have your autograph?" "Can we take a photo with you?" Yesterday I was the jiaozi superstar. Today I am the foreigner superstar! All this attention for simple things!



We returned home late in the morning. More relaxed conversations... more food (this time, endless 一口香 yikouxiang noodles). Good times! We ended the day with a photograph... my student's "dream" was to have a family photo with a foreigner. Here is a dream come true:

I arrived home in high spirits. How nice can people be?



That night, another student came knocking on my door. He wanted just to chat. So we chatted the night away on many different topics about American customs and culture. Somehow we arrived at political topics... passionate, complicated conversations, and we ran with them. I thoroughly enjoyed it. As I was preparing to say goodnight and goodbye, he invited me to go with him to his dorm to meet his roomates. I was beginning to catch on... these requests for visits are common in China. I agreed.

The high school dorms in China are quite unlike university dorms in America. They are essentially just rooms with beds... ten beds across five bunks. To be honest, they appear and feel like prison cells. There is no TV. No desks. The students can't even control the lights--they are turned off by the school at the appropriate hour. Indeed as we approached my student's room, the lights all over the building suddenly shut off. It was time for bed.

I was welcomed into the room with all the enthusiasm that the middle schoolers had welcomed me with earlier... minus 1600 people.... This room only had 10 people. Only 10, plus three flashlights (flashlights normally used for studying beyond lights-out now doubled as a tool to hold a conversation). The students were all so warm and excited. They were likely dead-tired from the Grade3 exam they had just taken all weekend, but I didn't see anything of their exhaustion in their faces. They smiled from ear to ear as they scrambled to ask questions (and more autographs). They offered me what little they had... a seat on their bed... a bag full of kiwis. Shaanxi Hospitality was just as much the core of these young men as it was the old women. Shaanxi Hospitality!

The next morning--this morning--more kindess. ANOTHER student had asked to spend time with me this weekend... this student, a HuaiYa native, offered to guide me around HuaiYa. The cold rain that had dampened opportunities in the last three days continued to mist the area again today... but we continued. First we went to the "happening" street of HuaiYa where all the vendors sell their goods. So many delicious foods to try... I wanted jiaozi again! After a soul-warming breakfast of dumplings, we ventured on, but the rain had intensified... faster, bigger, colder droplets... going any further was now a hazard. We stayed at a local woman's house for a few minutes (the student says she knows everyone in HuaiYa) before making the last push back to the school.

As I walked back, I couldn't help appreciating how much things had changed since that first day when I arrived in HuaiYa. Now even in the rain, mud and dreariness, HuaiYa looked so nice to me! Being in high spirits about teaching, the school, the students, the good weekend, and an upcoming vacation certainly helps. But I also realize that this day--though shortened by the rain--had significantly changed my view. The student showed me that there was actually MUCH to do in HuaiYa... at least all the essentials were certainly here. All the students who told me that HuaiYa has nothing... no good stores... no good food... these students were in fact outsiders to HuaiYa just as I was (many students at HuaiYa come from very far away to go to this school)... I will continue to discover HuaiYa.

After my goodbyes and thank-yous, I ran up the five flights of stairs to my room... shivering and cold from the rain... beaming and warm from the the many gestures of kindness that had filled and fulfilled my weekend.

Shaanxi Hospitality!