It's Optional

it's optional

In America, what happens if you (1) don't pay the utility bill on time? (2) The cable bill? (3) The telephone bill? (4) The local property tax?

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Yeah, you know: (1) the energy company rather immediately shuts off the stream of energy going to your house and you sit in the dark and hope you can make macaroni n cheese with matches. (2) You have to find out who was booted from America Idol last night by listening to co-workers' reactions the next day at the office water cooler (3) no more late night chatty kathy sessions with friends... but also no more calls from telemarketers (4) well, if your house burns down from your failed attempt to cook macaroni n cheese with matches, the firefighters will only arrive to make sure the fire doesn't spread to other taxpayers' houses... you're on your own.

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In the U.S., we take bills and financial obligations pretty seriously. You play; you pay. In China, it's a little different. You play; you pay... eventually... or maybe never.

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STORYtime

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Within hours of moving in to my apartment in HuaiYa way back in September, I got a message from some Chinese robot woman. A really smooth, clear, pleasant, upbeat, and excessively polite voice. Oh, so I guess they have telemarketers in China too, eh? [hang up the phone]

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She called back later that afternoon [hang up] and then again later that evening. Finally I decided to hear her out. But I couldn't understand her. I only knew that she was telling me my phone number. Okay... thanks lady, so now I know my phone number... goodbye.

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Well, she called back again and again... each day 2 or 3 times... again and again for the next 3 months. Annoying but regular, I grew accustomed to her kindly daily remindings of my telephone number. When I was bored, I would even listen to her message all the way through. In fact, she was beginning to teach me Chinese.

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Then one day in November I got a special call from this number. Having nearly hung up on her, I was shocked straight up and out of my shoes and socks to hear the rough, heavily accented, and not-so-polite (but not rude or angry) voice of a living, breathing man on the other line. He only spoke Chinese, so we fumbled around a bit. But I could gather the gist of his call very clearly: I had to pay my telephone bill. In that instant, it all clicked. I suddenly realized that that woman had been calling me every day to tell me to pay my telephone bill! And this guy suddenly realized why all those calls from the robot to my house had never been effective. Really, if that robot lady hadn't used such polite and fancy-pants language, I would have understood her a long time ago! Plain language ="PAY YOUR BILL!" I would have understood. Add some urgency and an ounce of threat to the message and I would have understood all the sooner!

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Now the careful reader will notice an odd thing. This robot had called me on my first day in HuaiYa. How did I already have an outstanding telephone bill on my first day? Well, it turns out the foreign teacher before me hadn't paid her own bill since May. So by the time I paid the telephone bill in November, the telephone company was sitting on a debt that spanned June, July, August, September, and October.

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And now the careful observer will be stunned! Yes, indeed, the telephone company does not shut off your telephone service if you don't pay your bills. Count them: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 months without paying! And telephone service is really something of a leisure compared to basic needs, don't you think? So the company should have no guilt disconnecting service until the customer coughs up the money. Nope. Not in China, er, at least not in HuaiYa.

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Just a fluke, you say? Oh no, it happened again. As you know, I paid the bill in November. Then I didn't get around to paying the telephone bill again until... oh, I don't know... last week (!)... yeah, we're sitting in April! Count 'em up: November, December, January, February, and March... another 5 months! Another 5 months with daily calls from my dear robot friend, who was ever as polite as always. So I have irrefutable proof that you can default on your telephone bill for at least 5 months without interruption in service.

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five months of consecutive non-payment, behold:

Now at this point my mother--the responsible bill payer extraordinaire--must be pitifully ashamed of me. But I have a defense. In fact, I TRIED to pay the bill on three occassions. The first two times I went to pay, the bill paying office was closed. I looked carefully at the posted hours-of-business sign: 9:00am to 5:00pm, weekdays. Well I was standing there at 3:00 on a Wednesday afternoon in December with money in hand. Why was this place closed?! I went back to ask one of the teachers and he informed me, "Oh, it's a government place. At these kind of places, often the worker arrives late, goes home early, or just doesn't show up for the day. Try again tomorrow."

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Well the time it takes to walk to this place is worth more than a year of outstanding telephone bills at the rate they charge me. So I decided to pay it when I was in the neighborhood. It just so happens that I was never in the neighborhood at the same time the place was actually open until last week. This chance event sorta felt like all 8 planets and Pluto were aligned.

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So... it's optional. You pay your telephone bill... if you want to (think about it, the previous foreign teacher effectively skipped out of town without having paid for two months of service, inadvertenly I'm sure... and at this rate I could do the same... but I won't). So, you pay your telephone bill if you want to. The government clerks show up to work... if they want to. I often get the feeling that there are so many more options here in China! :-)

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But don't get the wrong idea. Not all state employees can decide whether to work on such whims. Government-employed teachers have no such luxury, for example. And not all bills are collected so patiently. In fact, it may be that if my telephone bill had been any larger, they would have cut off service sooner. My telephone bill for FIVE MONTHS was only 20yuan...roughly 3 U.S. dollars. Even in China, that is incredibly cheap.

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And it necessary to note that the U.S. is not without it's quirks in the culture of obligations. Indeed, in these times where "bailout" is the buzz phrase, homeowners and banks get to default with minimal penalty, and crooked Ponzi schemers get to 'suffer' the punishment of house arrest in elaborate mansions financed by the very fraud for which they are being prosecuted... perhaps the U.S. is the more grotesque example of 'pay if you want'???

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Now pardon me, I'm going to go off to buy some pineapples... the fruit vendors of the streets of China are more faithful than the geysers at Yellowstone... they will be there!